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How To Survive The Plague

To say it's been a tumultuous 18 months would be a grave understatement. If this plague was a person, you would probably want to punch it in the throat and tell it to piss off. But it's not, and it looks like we have a fair way to go.


I don't have a medical background, or any knowledge in the field of science, business or finance. What I do have, is a dark sense of humour, and enough positive energy to keep the world smiling. So during these times of wild frustration, I have taken it upon myself to put together a handy guide of things that may be of assistance to you and your people to get you through this crazy plague, interspersed with nonsensical lunacy for a bit of a laugh.


Scroll On, Switch Off


"Beyond serving as an arena or community forum, experts say social media is actually changing the way society is perceiving and responding to the COVID-19 outbreak. Humans take cues from other humans, and they may be more likely to panic-buy if they see other people posting about their panic-buying"

In an article published by Time, Santosh Vijaykumar, a researcher at Northumbria University talks about online behaviour creating social norms and the disaster that it can potentially lead to.

I understand people wanting to keep updated on this crisis, there is no point in continually checking your feed, keeping the news on or reading headlines. This will only contribute to your anxiety.



Use social media for the power of good


About 90% of my Instagram feed is nonsensical garbage that makes me howl in laughter. The Beetoota Advocate, The Shovel, Shitadelaide, Pubity and so many more accounts provide absurdity at a time we need it most. I'd much rather see a post on the strength of women than see grown adults in a fistfight over toilet paper.



Set up local Facebook groups to support the elderly, isolated and to keep local businesses going. This is of the utmost importance. The financial ramifications of this pandemic will be felt far and wide. Shop locally, share ideas, help each other where ever you can.


Physical distancing, social connectedness

One thing this plague has done is brought together the people of the world. Sure, the circumstances are shit, but there isn't a time in the history of our generation where we have all experienced something collectively. Once this all calms down (and it's so important to remember that it will), we will look back at this for generations to come.


For the love of all that's holy, don't panic buy


One would hope this goes without saying. If there's one thing we have learned from Italy, not one person in that country has died of starvation. You really don't need 40 tins of beans and a palette of toilet paper. It's unnecessary. My favourite thing to come out of all of this is an incredibly exasperated Prime Minister admonishing the brats of Australia. Every parent in the nation felt this hard. Having said that, make sure your liquor cabinet is stocked.


Business as usual


As disruptive as this whole affair is, whenever you can try to maintain some kind of routine. This can help with anxiety as well as alleviating boredom. If you are in isolation, look at exercising at home, eating healthy, continuing with your work. A healthy mind is just as important as a healthy body. If you can't do your normal work, now is the perfect opportunity to learn something new. Take advantage of these free online courses:


- 1500 online courses from top universities

- Learn a new language

- Learn how to write

- Take up yoga


Find ways to keep your mind and body active. Leave a comment if you have any other ideas and let me know. Happy to keep updating this list.


Tips for parents


Kids might be quite confused and not really understand what's going on. I didn't feel the need to talk to my kids about any of this until my daughter expressed concerns for her grandmother's life. My seven-year-old was adamant that my mum was going to die. Her logic, "Teeta is old and old people will die if they get Corona". At that point, I thought it was time to have a chat.


It can be tough to find the right thing to say. This is a great article that addresses child psychology and outlines ways to communicate this to kids.


If that's too hard, just show them this video on how to wash their hands



Look at the positives


For a bit of perspective, let's have a look at all of the good that has come out of this:

- There's been a pretty huge drop in pollution

- Families and partners are spending more time together. (may also be a con)

- Netflix... all of the Netflix. So much goodness to stream on so many platforms. Make the most out of all of this isolation. I have seen every franchise of the Real Housewives and developed a serious crush on Andy Cohen and Sonia Morgan.

- Read more. You guys remember books, don't you? What a great time to get back into it.


Vaccine for the win.


Let's not mention the federal government and the handling of the vaccine rollout. Instead, let's focus on why you absolutely should roll up your sleeves and get a jab. The sooner we reach herd immunity, the sooner we open borders, start our economic recovery, reunite with loved ones and hug each other. I miss hugging you guys. I'm a hugger and I acknowledge that I'm part of the problem. Here are some helpful links on where to apply for the jab and information to help persuade you to do your part for the country:


Australian Government Department of Health


Information Pack


If you're not sure of anything, please consult your doctor rather than some random guy you went to school with on Twitter.


Stay safe.

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